The Cost of Conformity: Embracing Authenticity's Ultimate Value

This episode of Masterful Listening is inspired by this quote from Gary Vee -

 "I am willing to deal with the ramifications of being my full self." 

I reflect on the importance of accepting the repercussions of being true to oneself.

Especially, considering the cost of abandoning ourselves. 

Despite my efforts to avoid upsetting others or making a negative impression, I realize that compromising my full self ultimately leads to dissatisfaction and discord. Through introspection and self-discovery, I acknowledge the power and beauty of expressing and fully embracing our unique individuality. 

This episode serves as a tribute to the strength found in embracing our true selves, unapologetically and wholeheartedly.  

Masterful Listening is sponsored by Rad Hats For Rad Humans. 30% of every purchase goes towards mental health initiatives. If you write a review of the show, you get 20% off a Rad Hat of your own.

Visit svetlanasaitsky.com
Email: Svetlana.thisisit@gmail.com
Instagram: Jetsvetter

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:20

All right, welcome back to the first ever live streamed episode of Masterful Listening. I hope it's gonna work. I figured, you know what? Why not? I think I'm live streaming on TikTok, but depending on how this goes, we'll get LinkedIn, we'll get Instagram, we'll get all the all the socials. You know, I'm someone who has typically been really comfortable just speaking live. I've probably recorded thousands of videos throughout the years. And I always did it just from a gut instinct place when I was having a moment. I'm walking down the street. Often this was in San Francisco, but I've done this all over the world. An idea pops in my head. I thought, oh, this is a great reminder, a piece of inspiration. So I'd put a camera in front of my face and I would just start talking. And honestly, 98% of the time, I'm just guessing. It was great. I posted it. I wasn't nervous, I wasn't in my head. But sometimes when I get in my head and start thinking, oh no, is this appropriate? Is this too much? What will people think? Uh yeah, it doesn't ever work as well. I find myself overthinking, not fully being me, being overly concerned with the audience, and it just doesn't turn out as good. And that's super connected to what I wanted to talk about today. I saw, or I yeah, I saw, I guess I saw and I heard Gary V shout out to Mr. Gary V. I saw a video where he said, and I'm paraphrasing, I think I got it. If I'm a little off, I'm saying it the way I remember it. He said, I am willing to deal with the consequences or repercussions of being my whole self. And I love that I am willing to deal with the consequences or repercussions of being my whole full self. Yes, Gary V. And you are your whole self. I just feel like when I watch him talk, he's just real. He's saying it, he's cursing, he's doing this or that. In that video, someone asked him, so like you and you curse in front of your kids, and he's like, Yeah, I don't think that's a problem. Now, some people might think it's a problem, and that's okay, but are you going to live and do you live in your full authentic being? Or are you constantly trying to change who you are for other people? When you go to work, do you show up as your full self? When you go to a party, do you show up as your full self? When you're talking to your husband or wife or anytime. Because honestly, I'm gonna say, um, I've often felt my whole life, I'm just too much. I'm too much. People have told me that I'm too loud, I'm too aggressive, I take up too much space. I've also been told that I'm so helpful and confident, and people admire how much I can just speak honestly and openly and vulnerably, so honestly, my bigness has had a wonderful impact and a not so wonderful impact. And honestly, I've spent so much time stressing about this. I don't even know how many years I've spent thinking, oh my God, did I say too much? Did I say it that way? Is someone gonna be offended? Oh my God, am I gonna get in trouble? Oh my God, it's so exhausting. And I don't really consider myself a people pleaser in terms of I'm constantly just trying to make people happy. I think I've just become paranoid a bit because I've often been told that my energy just has a really big impact. And sometimes it's been incredible, and sometimes it's been tough, tough. And the reason it's been tough for me is because it was tough for other people. So if I'm, I don't know, at a dinner party and there's a conversation and I'm really inspired and I'm talking a lot, but then I get some feedback. Wow, Svet, you really like monopolized that conversation. That's gonna make me feel really bad. And that actually hasn't happened in a very long time because I've made such an effort to just shut the fuck up. Honestly, uh, that was something I'd say that happened more in my past, but it really hurt. It it hurt to feel like me just being me was hard for other people, you know, being a confident, outspoken woman for some reason pisses people off. Like, why is that? Why, when a woman speaks loudly and proudly and confidently, why is she a bitch? Or why is she aggressive? Or you know, it's just oh my god, and I do speak loudly and proudly and confidently often. I really most of the time don't think I'm better than anyone. I just happen to have a gift of a loud voice and opinions, and people misread me and people misread you, and that's the point. So, authenticity. I want to talk about authenticity just a bit. And I'm just gonna free flow, by the way, for this one, because when I started the show, I was free flowing. I didn't really plan much. I kind of had an idea, and then as the show kept going, I started planning more and more and more and more. And funny enough, there was an episode recently that I never posted, the first one ever of 43 or something. And I planned so much of it, and I was so in the notes and the planning that I completely lost it. I mean, I re-listened to it and I was like, nope. So I'm going back a little bit to how I do things. I have one piece of paper with some notes that make no sense. They're written all over the place, but that's how I do it. That's how my brain processes it, and I'm just gonna flow. And if it resonates for you, hell yeah, thank you for coming back to the world's first super rad listening school. And if it doesn't, I always say the first step of masterful listening is having a sincere desire to be here. So if you're not into it, feel free to leave. Seriously. And I say that with love. I wouldn't want anyone to feel like they have to stay somewhere or have to hang out with me or have to listen to me. I want there to be a genuine desire. And this is a listening school. So if you're noticing, man, it's a little bit hard for me to listen for whatever reason, but I want to practice because I'm distracted in my mind. Cool. It's a meditation. Masterful listening is a mindfulness exercise. Comeback, come back. How much of your day are you just distracted, just thinking about all kinds of other things? Uh, I bet a lot of it. So, masterful listening is a chance to come back to this moment, to the words I'm saying. And uh see what you get from it. Because you, you are awesome. There is no one else like you. When you, listener, whoever you are, listening to this, watching this, when you are fully you, that's magic because nobody is like you. But often we're putting ourselves in a little box, even me. And I'm not a big put myself in a box person, and I still do it sometimes. And you know, sometimes we really have to be mindful of our audience, right? Because, for example, when I'm facilitating an executive leadership training, I might speak differently to that audience than if I'm running my own mindfulness um retreat in Costa Rica. However, I could still be me fully, but just communicate a little bit differently. So, what does it mean to really be you no matter what the consequences are, because there will always be consequences, but it feels good to be your whole self. Oh, it feels crappy to make yourself smaller or different than you are. It really does. It hurts, it really, really hurts. And I don't want that pain anymore. I don't want that pain for you either. I want you to shine, and maybe your shine is just a really small flickering ember that burns all night. So you're not this big raging fire or firework. All of it is beautiful and necessary. We are not better than each other, we're just better at certain things, and I think it's this fear of judgment, fear of how are we seen that makes us shrink or maybe even boast, but we're not being authentic to ourselves, we're maybe afraid. And when we're afraid, we're not showing up, I think, in our most whole self. Unless you're being chased by a tiger. And then it makes sense to be afraid, right? But how often are we being chased by tigers versus having that fight or flight because someone texted you and said, Hey, we need to talk. Or you got a piece of bad feedback from one person, and now you're worried you're gonna lose your job or whatever. Yeah, man, we weren't made for this shit. We weren't designed for that. It's really, really, really challenging to be alive today in the stressful world that we're in. And I have recently realized that I'm pretty sure the world has always been this messed up. Like, I don't think the world is worse than it's been. I think we just see more, have more information. But the point is, it is stressful right now. We have access to everything. We see all these lives people are posting on the internet. We can't help but compare, want more, want less, want something, want, want, want. And we're suffering. We're suffering, I think, because it's human to suffer, but also because it's just so normal now. But we can do something about that suffering. And I think permission to be our whole self in itself alleviates some of that suffering. So many of us feel those who aren't expressing themselves. You know, even me right now, I recently just dyed my hair a little brighter red just for fun. I got my new glasses, which happen to match my hair. I'm wearing this bright velvet thingy, uh, what is it, my aviator nation completely overpriced suit that I love. But I do need to express myself fully, boldly. I don't know why. It's just who I am. I've been that way, I feel good. And I know that at times when I feel crappy, I never do that as much. I just like hide and I crawl into my little shell and I don't speak or share. And that's okay. But staying in that place for too long when I did that really, really drained me and and kind of paused my entire existence. So I want to commit to keep being my whole self, no matter what the consequence. If it means that you don't like me, bye-bye. Really? If me being who I like me to be pushes you away, leave respectfully. May you be well. I don't want you in my life if you really don't appreciate me. I want everyone to kind of embrace that. Why would you want people in your life that don't appreciate all of you? Now it doesn't mean that if you have a moment where you're being an ass, they don't call you out for that. But the point is everything that you are is so unique to you. I believe the people who hire us should be hiring the entire being, everything you're bringing, the people who are friends, people who date us. So, how do we give ourselves permission to really be authentically us because authenticity is actually the highest frequency energetically, if you measure frequency? I can't explain how this works, but I believe it to be true. Look it up. Highest frequency, even higher than love, authenticity when you're just you, whatever that means for you. I heard something also recently that I want to share. And this one's more a bunch of little stories. I don't have one particular story to share. I'm just gonna free-flow about authenticity, and I hope it inspires you to figure out which you you like the best. Uh, I've said this a lot as a coach when I'm working with people that finding your crew matters. Meaning, we all psychologically, if you're familiar with the idea of internal family systems, we all have a lot of parts, parts work. You get to know the different parts inside, and then you work with them. And there's a part that's like the higher self, or if you've done DBT, the wise mind. This is like the most secure, like the best version of ourselves, kind of thing. And then there's our saboteur, right? The inner critic. There's a lot of other parts. But often in the coaching world and in the personal development world, people often say, What would your higher self do? Let's tap into your higher self, and that's cool. But sometimes it's hard really to like even imagine that when you're stuck in like a shit spiral and you're really insecure or sad. It could be hard to go from there to suddenly like, but my higher self. It's a it's a good thing to try if you can't do that. But I heard this, I don't know where I heard it. So I'm just gonna say I didn't make this up, and someone said it. If I figure it out, I'll uh post it in the the bio of this episode or the whatever the info. Um it said, ask yourself how the you that you like the best would show up. Like the you that you like the best. Like for me, even now, who is the me that I like the best? Well, first I'm like super comfortable, like in whatever I'm in. It doesn't even matter what I'm wearing, but I feel good in my body. I'm not wearing something super tight, you know. Um, I like what I'm wearing, which could be like a hip hop outfit or a dress or a million other things. But the point is I'm just comfortable in my skin, right? I just feel good physically. Um, I'm in a hat. I'm always, I feel like, liking myself when I'm in a hat. That's just the physical part. But on an emotional level, the me that I like the best is just calm and present. There's no anxiety. I'm I'm grateful. Yeah, I'm present, I'm grateful, I'm listening masterfully. I like that me when I'm genuinely curious and interested. I like the me who's creative and curious and excited. I do like me when I have energy, but it doesn't feel like it's like crazy energy that I could tell is overwhelming someone I'm around. As an empath, I really don't like that me, that moment where I'm like somewhere and I can feel someone's uncomfortable. That is not my favorite me, even though that's not even about me necessarily, but you know, just for the sake of this exercise, I want you to think what you, what version of you is just your favorite you? What do they look like? What are they doing? How are they speaking? How are they feeling? Write it out, uh envision it and call upon that one. This weekend, I had a hard weekend. I was just really sad. Rad had another like little mini seizure, and I was alone, and I don't know, I just got really down and I felt this like anxiety in my body. And I just took myself out to walk with Rad. I just was breathing, slow breathing. I just tried to breathe, breathe, breathe, and not do anything else, not think about anything else, not talk to anyone. And I like that me too. The one that can just notice what is, notice the discomfort and not panic, just stay with it. I like that me. So I often try to tune into her, and the easiest way to do that for me is just to act in a way that she would act. And what she does is go outside and start taking deep breaths. And even if it means I'm walking down the street and tears are flowing from my face, that's okay. Because the me that I like the best as well is really compassionate. Not judging me, but just loving me. Because of course I'm sad that my doggie is in pain and sick. Yeah, it's okay. It's okay. Everything is okay if we make it okay, right? But once you're okay, when things are not okay, everything's kind of okay. And and that definitely takes practice. So yeah, I guess the part of me that I really like is kind of like she's pretty okay. She's not like ecstatic, she's not super depressed, she's just pretty okay. It's like melancholic gratitude, is another way I like to put that. And you know what else is fascinating? And I want you to think for yourself how quickly, and again, maybe this is just me. So I'm just being vulnerable, but I think this is probably more common. How quickly do you go from a place of like deep confidence? Like you're feeling great about yourself. You're great at your job. You feel great about some group that you're a part of. And then suddenly someone reacts really poorly to you, or you get a piece of bad feedback from a client or your boss, and like you tank. It's like that confidence falls down so drastically. And then you're, you know, worried. Oh my God, does this person not like me? Does everybody hate me? Am I gonna lose my job? Whatever that looks like for you. I just noticed that happened to me a few times recently where I really overall feel quite confident, but there's these moments where something I guess triggers this almost um not judgment, but poor reaction to me being my whole self. And it makes me want to abandon myself, it makes me want to change the way I'm speaking. Or just here's an example of this. This really got me thinking about this, and this was bugging me this weekend as well. I was in a mastermind group with some people who were in this compassion program at Stanford that I finished last week. And I was really glad to be invited to join this like group of six or so people, and it was like a hundred people all together, and they were really cool people, and we started meeting. And at the beginning, I contributed this idea of us designing our kind of alliance, having agreements as a group, co-creating, and then we were gonna go for six months, see how it went. So as the group kept going, first I was noticing that I had resistance to wanting to go because it was like a two-hour meeting. And I think whenever I see a two-hour anything on my Zoom, I'm like, uh. But when I went, I was always super happy that I came. I really liked the people. I thought I was getting some connection, some value. But then as time went on and Rad got sick, I missed that week because I was literally, I think I was in the hospital with him either that day or the day before. So I was in no state to do that. And I'd message the group, let them know that I wasn't able to make it because Rad was having seizures, or I don't remember what I said, but I do remember that when I messaged them, only one person reached out to me and said, I'm so sorry, how's he doing? And I really appreciated that. So I noticed that and I thought, that's interesting. People didn't really seem to really acknowledge what was happening for me. And so then the next month when the meeting came, I also skipped it because I think I was just super busy with classes, and I just I didn't feel like it was important enough for me to prioritize sitting on the computer again. And I think probably some part of me felt a little hurt. Um, and I didn't want to just show up just to show up when I didn't really want to be there. Because I know that that is not me being my whole self. That's me trying to please other people. I don't want to do that, but I did want to keep my commitment because one of the commitments we'd made was that we would show up. So now this last week, it was the next meeting, and again, I had this resistance to going, but I was like, nope, you're gonna go, it'll be good. You're gonna, you committed. So I showed up. And at this point, this was like the last meeting of the six months that we committed to. And it was pretty clear that like the group was kind of, I mean, the closest, most accurate way that I can describe it is like falling apart or something needs to be redesigned because of I think six or seven, or maybe I think it was seven people, only four people showed up. And so the person who started the group sort of brought this idea up of, okay, well, do you want to discuss what it would look like to redesign, restructure, moving forward? And yes, so we were gonna do that, and then we were gonna do a little personal check-in at the end. Um, so I jumped in to share that I thought that structure would be really important because as a facilitator, I find that like I'm watching the time in my classes that are 60 minutes, I know exactly where I need to be at 20, 30, 40 minutes. And I am adjusting things accordingly because we must end on time and get through all the different parts. And you know, it's a it's an art and a science. And this person is a, I think, a very experienced facilitator. But when I spoke, they literally almost jumped out of their chair and almost kind of yelled, like, seriously, Svet, you were the reason you pushed against structure at the very beginning, and that's why we didn't create it. And I was like, Holy shit! Whoa, massive trigger. And I felt this energy coming towards me. And first of all, I don't believe I pushed against anything. I think I expressed, I'm pretty sure, that I'm not a fan of structure that's too rigid. That structure when it's like some structures, good and it's nice to flow sometimes. You gotta read the room, right? So if the structure you're proposing doesn't make sense for a particular group, I often make it a bit flexible. But if you have of barely any structure, then what happens is you end up doing a check-in that takes an hour and you don't get to any activity. And I didn't want that. So this person got insanely triggered. Now I met them at a compassion program. So I think even though I could physically feel this, I was like, okay, uh, human, I can tell you really are having a big reaction, and I'm gonna try to have compassion for you, but I'm also gonna be honest and share. You asked for feedback, it doesn't even matter what I said six months ago. I'm saying what I'm saying now because I'm being honest, and that's who I am, and I just asserted myself and then I became quiet. And as I sat there quietly, I became so uncomfortable because I realized here we go again. I speak up, and someone's freaking out on me. And it was a female, and I've had that happen a lot, and I couldn't help but wonder what is happening? Why? Why can't I just be myself and be honest and be direct and speak up and not have people be pissed and aggressive towards me and blame me for what did they say, pushing. I'm actually really not a very pushy person. I know that about me. I am very clear and expressive with what I want. I don't force anyone to do anything. Uh, I just make solid cases often, and I do it loudly and clearly and directly, and I think it's effective. Now, if this person is a people pleaser and unable to speak up for themselves, that is their plight or thing to work through. The reality is, it's not even about right or wrong or good or bad. It's that this impact that happened after this moment kept me sitting there. And all I wanted to do, honestly, was basically freak out back and get triggered back. I wanted to really be like, who the hell do you think you are talking to me like that? And then I wanted to just disconnect and run away and cry. I was just, I could feel it. And there were also two other people in the room, and I felt really awkward for them having to feel this. And I felt like if it was me as that person, I would have tried to clean that up real quick, but we didn't really have time because again, we were running past the time. So when I was asked if I had anything left to say, I said, I no longer feel safe speaking up in this group. So no, I have nothing left to say. Then she said, I'm sorry, I got triggered. And uh yeah, I just sat there because the sorry didn't honestly do anything for me at that moment. And uh then we wrapped up, but again, there was really no, we didn't discuss it, we didn't go into it, and it's been five days. This person did not reach out to me to try to discuss, talk, and I decided I'm not gonna be part of that group anymore because if I can't speak up honestly, and again, I was speaking just like this. I think structure is really important. If I can't do that without getting attacked and then getting an apology, that's not mastermindful. That's not mindful or masterful to me, mastermindful. I don't want it. It's it's not for me. So I let the group know politely, hey, how much I appreciate them on an individual level, because I do that I'd love to keep in touch, but I have no desire to be part of the group anymore. It's not serving me. And I did reach out to the two other people just to see like, hey, what did I miss? That was the question that I had. Because maybe I missed something. Maybe I need to hear a reflection from someone else who was there about something I'm not seeing in myself because I do want to know my unintended impact. I want to understand how I land, and it does not mean I'm gonna change who I am, but it's good data, right? So I'm gonna keep this one, I think, a bit shorter too, but I've been thinking about what is the cost of me not being me versus the cost of me being fully me. Because there's a cost to everything, there's a price to pay. So then choose. So for example, I often, when I get invited to go somewhere, do not want to go. Why? Because I don't like to be around big groups of people, period. I never have, but especially in the last couple of years. I don't. It kind of makes me a little bit uncomfortable. I don't really like, I definitely don't like surface level connection, but I also just find I connect more and enjoy it more, more one-on-one, or maybe in a small group, or maybe if it's a gathering where I kind of know everyone. But even then, I don't know. I just haven't really wanted to be in crowds. So I've had some issues where I say no, and then I am being me, and that makes people upset. Or then I say yes, so then I'm like not being really fully me who I want to be, but I'm kind of wanting to make someone happier, show up for them. Uh I choose the staying home, choosing me and dealing with someone else being upset. And I choose that because there's actually a way for me to do my best to prevent that. Meaning, explain why I'm staying home, explain that I appreciate the invitation, that it's nothing personal, and just explain, explain, explain, but not from a place of I owe you an explanation, but I'd like for you to understand why I'm saying no. A no is a yes to something better. A no is a yes to me not making myself uncomfortable so that you feel a bit better and I feel like I abandon myself. So in that situation, I would take the cost of potentially maybe hurting someone's feelings because if not, I'm just hurting my own feelings. And when I'm hurt, I hurt other people's feelings more. What about speaking up at a meeting? When I was in my Stanford program, I was a student, and for the last couple of years, I've been more of a facilitator, a teacher. And there was, you know, a hundred of us, and we'd have these sessions where everyone was there, and we'd have smaller ones as well. And like when I'm in a class and I'm listening to a teacher or something interesting, and then they ask a question. I often, if I have an interesting thought or contribution, like I want to say something. But I've been told so much about, oh, you take up all this space, and that I usually just try not to be the first one to raise my hand. Like that is literally what I'm trying to do. I'm like, my hands, like, uh, which is also so fucked up in a way, because it's like, I just wish I wasn't even thinking about it. I wish it was like, oh, I have something to say. I raise my hand. They calling me cool, they don't call me cool. I'm not worried about anyone else. I'm doing me. But I want to, you know, I want to give other people a shot. But I did. I raised my hand. I I sometimes I spoke first, sometimes I spoke last. Sometimes I didn't raise my hand. Again, it was only when I actually had something to add. And I've definitely checked in on is this really valuable? Do I really need to say this? Because I do think I like the me that's thoughtful, you know. I don't need to just keep hearing the sound of my own voice. If I wanted to do that, I would just keep recording this podcast. I can record as many of these as I want and post them, right? That's kind of fun. That's why I like to do it. But I do want to make a contribution in the group. And I remember there was one session where I must have shared a bit more than I thought was appropriate, but definitely less than I probably would have. And I just really wanted to check in with my mentor. So I called her and she's awesome. Shout out to you, Monica. I adore you. And I remember this moment where I was like, hey, I just wanted to ask, like, how is my participation? Because I just want to make sure that, you know, I want to participate, but I don't want to make anyone feel like I'm taken over too much. And she said something to me like, Svet, first of all, the fact that you're even asking about your impact in the group and checking in on that is uh an incredible thing. Shows that you're aware and you care. And keep doing it. People need to hear what you have to say. You make a wonderful contribution when you speak, so absolutely it's not too much. And I just was like, oh my god, thank God. To make others who don't have a voice feel better. And I am not gonna do that anymore. I don't want to do that anymore because I have also had so many people tell me that I did inspire them to speak up and I did empower them to speak up. I love when I see someone speak up and stand up for themselves. I love it. It's like, come with me to this party, say something. That's why I'm usually facilitating, because in that role, I get to inspire others to jump in, and it makes sense that I'm speaking when I am. Whereas when I'm in a group, I always am like, okay, try not to take over, try not to jump in too much. And often, even when I've been real paranoid about it, people come up and they're like, Thank you so much for saying that, for sharing that. That's really helpful. So, this is something I'm still working on, and I'm so glad I heard this. I am willing to deal with the consequence of being my whole self because I want to embody that even more. I want to remind myself that being my whole self might mean that somebody or a lot of people won't like you, or you'll piss them off, or a million other things, but you might inspire them, you might help them, you might not have any impact at all, and you know what? Who cares? It shouldn't be about other people, anyway. If we spend our life worried about is me being me impacting everyone exactly the way I'd like or well or not, oh you are handing over your power and your peace to everyone outside of you. I'm not doing it anymore, or I'm gonna try not to do it anymore. It's painful. Be fully you as much as you can, and know that that will come with a cost and a consequence, but so will sacrificing who you are, minimizing who you are. I'm pretty sure the cost and consequence of that is way higher. We're paying such a cost in our mental health, uh, in our emotional well-being, when we keep preventing ourselves from being our magnificent, weird, unique ourselves. So whoever you are, be you. If you need some permission today to just be fully you, and even if you are and it pisses someone off, upsets someone, ask yourself which you do you like who can show up in that moment and deal with that? Because just because you upset someone or trigger someone doesn't mean that that won't actually lead to a deeper friendship, connection, relationship. It's those moments of conflict that can actually build so much if you lean into it. But if you start a big mess and you don't clean it up, well is that who you want to be? It's not who I want to be. If I make a mess, I try to clean it up. If I fail, I try to apologize and own it. Uh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think I needed a reminder right now to keep being my whole self because the people who really matter see it, love it, encourage it. And those that don't are such great teachers. You know, but be careful who you ask feedback from, be careful who you listen to too much because you want to be a masterful listener, but you also want to be discerning and realize sometimes people are saying things from a place of wanting to put you down because they feel like crap about themselves. Right. And I'm sure we've been there, but become the best, most masterful listener you can be, and remember that the cost of uh putting yourself aside to please someone else, it it compounds, it compounds and compounds, and soon a lot of people don't even remember who they are when they truly felt like themselves. So, who in your life gives you permission to be fully you? Do you have someone like that in your life? Maybe it's a friend, a partner, a colleague. Um, if yes, thank them. Thank them. And if you don't, guess what? You can make that person you give yourself the love and the support and the authenticity of being your awesome weird self. I just forgot this was being live recorded. I wonder if anyone watched it. Anyway, who cares? I'm gonna wrap up. Thank you for being here. What is your homework? Uh what is your homework? I'm gonna come up with this homework. Okay, think of the last couple of times where you felt like you might have been sacrificing yourself because you wanted to please someone else or you wanted to look good. Like maybe you didn't speak up in a certain situation, or maybe you went somewhere you didn't really want to go. And I want you to make a list of those things and then ask yourself the cost of being me, like doing what I really want, or the cost of not, and just look at that cost, look at that list, start considering this the next time you have a hesitation around something, and maybe write a little note with the mantra. Ask the you you like the best. I just bang that mic. That's okay. Ask the you that you like best. Forget our higher self for a minute. Let's think about the the us that we just like the best. What are they wearing? How are they talking? How are they living? Live into that. It's nice to like yourself, it's nice to be yourself, right? This isn't rocket science, it's that simple stuff. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Perfectly unique, awesome, authentic, masterful listener. I'll see you next time. Thanks for listening. That might have been a big ramble, but I'm gonna post it no matter what. I'm gonna do it. All right. See you next time.